Hate Having Your Photo Taken? How to Feel Comfortable in Your Wedding Photos

“We hate having our photo taken.” 

Honestly, this is probably one of the things I hear most from couples before their wedding.

And I get it. Having your photo taken can feel weird at the best of times, never mind when someone (hi, it’s me!) is following you around with a camera and occasionally asking you to stand together and act natural.

And yes, I realise the internet probably isn't crying out for another wedding blog telling you what you should and shouldn't do on your wedding day.

So this isn't a list of poses to practise, instructions for finding your “best side” or five ways to magically become someone who loves being the centre of attention.

Quite the opposite.

I've spent years photographing couples who tell me they feel awkward in front of a camera, and then I got married myself and got to experience being on the other side of one.

Turns out, knowing exactly how wedding photography works does not suddenly make having your own photo taken feel completely normal.

So, from a wedding photographer who also felt a bit weird about this part of her own wedding: here are the things that actually help.

How to feel less awkward in your wedding photos

1. Don’t take it too seriously

First up: you’re allowed to feel awkward.

Having your photo taken isn't something most people do very often. Add in wedding clothes, a photographer and the knowledge that these are your WEDDING PHOTOS and it's hardly surprising if you suddenly become very aware of where your hands are.

Feeling a bit silly is completely normal. Laugh about it. Tell your photographer it feels weird. Whisper something daft to each other. One of you pulling a ridiculous fake laugh often leads to an actual one anyway.

And you don't need to spend the months before your wedding learning poses or practising exactly what you're going to do.

In fact, the more you're trying to remember a pose or make yourself look a certain way, the more aware you can become of the fact you're having your photo taken.

You can feel awkward and still get bloomin’ lovely photos.

That's worth remembering.

2. Forget about the camera (mostly)

Yes, there will probably be a few photos where you look at the camera and smile. Your nan will thank us.

But your entire couple portrait time doesn't need to be spent staring down a lens wondering whether you're smiling normally.

Chat to each other. Look at each other. Look somewhere else. Talk about what just happened. Laugh about something your mate did during the ceremony. Fuss over the dog if you've brought them along.

Basically, give your brain something to do other than:

THERE IS A CAMERA POINTING AT MY FACE. WHAT IS MY FACE DOING?

3. Do what feels like you

There’s no particular way you need to be for couple photos.

Cuddle if you’re cuddlers. Feeling all romantic and gazey because you've literally just got married? Go with it. If PDA isn’t your thing, don’t force it.

Make each other laugh. Be silly. Chat. Have a quiet moment. Walk. Bring the dog along. Whatever feels like you in that moment.

And that's important, because wedding-day you might be slightly different from Tuesday-night-on-the-sofa you. You might unexpectedly feel ridiculously romantic. You might spend ten minutes laughing because neither of you knows what to do. Both are completely valid.

Don't worry about what you think couple photos are supposed to look like.

What feels natural will look completely different from one couple to the next.

4. A little movement helps

Standing completely still is an excellent way to suddenly become aware of every single limb you possess.

What do I do with my hands? Am I standing weirdly? Is my face doing something strange? WHY HAVE I FORGOTTEN HOW TO STAND?

Movement gives your brain something else to think about.

Walk together. Chat. Turn towards each other. Wander somewhere. Twirl if you want to twirl. It doesn't need to be elaborate.

This is something I use a lot when I'm photographing couples too. I tend to give people a little direction or something to do rather than putting them into lots of fixed poses, then photograph whatever happens between them.

It takes some of the pressure off and means you're actually doing something, rather than standing there trying desperately to look natural.

5. Remember: couple photos are a tiny part of your wedding

This one is especially for anyone currently imagining being dragged away from their wedding for an hour-long photoshoot.

You don't have to do that.

Talk to your photographer beforehand about how long they normally spend on couple photos and tell them if keeping that time short matters to you.

You can also split them into a couple of little chunks rather than doing everything at once. Ten or fifteen minutes, back to your wedding, then perhaps another quick wander later.

And weirdly, those ten minutes might end up being quite nice.

I know, I know. Photographer says having photos taken is nice. Groundbreaking.

But hear me out, because this is the bit I didn't properly understand until I got married myself.

I hated the idea of being the centre of attention too

Our wedding day was SO hectic.

After the ceremony, I felt like I barely saw Joe — despite the fairly significant fact that we had literally just got married.

There were people to talk to, things happening and people pulling us in different directions. And I'm not someone who particularly relishes being the centre of attention, so I wasn't exactly counting down the minutes until MY VERY OWN COUPLE PORTRAITS either.

But having a few minutes away together was actually really lovely.

We regrouped. Had a chat. Had a little “oh hi, YOU!” moment.

And then we went back.

That's the important bit for me.

I'm really glad we had that time together and I'm equally glad it didn't eat a massive chunk of our wedding. The whole day went ridiculously quickly and I already felt like I barely had enough time with everyone we'd invited.

So yes, take a few minutes together if you want them. Get some photos of the two of you. Enjoy the excuse to disappear from the chaos for a minute.

But you don't need to turn your wedding into a photoshoot to get great wedding photos.

So, how do I photograph couples who hate having their photo taken?

Pretty much how I've just described.

My wedding photography is mostly documentary, which means for most of your day I want you to forget I'm there and actually have your wedding.

When we do couple photos, I'll give you enough direction that you don't feel like I've dumped you somewhere and shouted “BE NATURAL!” from behind a camera.

But I'm not interested in running through a catalogue of poses either.

We'll walk. Chat. Find somewhere interesting. I'll suggest things when you need me to. If something doesn't feel like you, we don't need to do it.

I usually keep couple photos short and split them up rather than disappearing for one massive portrait session. In summer, I might come and find you later if the light does something particularly lovely. In winter, we can play around with flash and make something completely different after dark (unless you are too busy on the dance floor of course).

And if an incredible sunset, mist or full-on rainbow appears, there is a very good chance I'll come bounding over looking far too excited and ask if you fancy popping outside for five minutes.

You are still absolutely allowed to say no because you're halfway through a cocktail.

The photos matter. But being at your wedding matters more.

BONUS TIP: Don’t skip the snacks

Because apparently I've written an entire blog about feeling comfortable during couple photos without addressing one of the greatest threats
to marital happiness: HANGER.

Couple photos often happen when canapés do, and no one is having a lovely relaxed time while watching everyone else eat the food they've paid for.

Ask your caterer to put a plate aside for you. Bring a secret snack stash. Send your best mate to Greggs.

Whatever it takes.

Hate posing for photos? We’ll probably get on.

If you've found this because you're planning your own wedding and thinking yes, THIS is exactly what I'm worried about, you're very much my kind of people.

I photograph weddings in Birmingham, across the Midlands and all over the UK, with a documentary approach, lots of actual humans being actual humans, and just enough direction when you need it.

If you want wedding photos that feel like you, without spending half your wedding having them taken, come and tell me what you're planning.

Still got questions about couple photos?

What if we hate having our photo taken?
You’re in very good company. Most of my couples tell me they feel awkward in front of a camera. You don’t need to know how to pose or have any idea what you’re doing beforehand. I’ll give you a little direction when you need it, but mostly I want you concentrating on each other rather than me.

How long do couple photos take at a wedding?
Not long! I usually split them into a couple of short pockets of around 10–15 minutes rather than disappearing for one massive photoshoot. You get some lovely photos together without missing half your wedding.

Do we have to pose for wedding photos?
Nope. I might give you a starting point, suggest somewhere to stand or give you something to do, but I keep things as natural as possible. If something doesn’t feel like you, we don’t need to do it.

When is the best time for couple photos on a wedding day?
It depends on your timings, venue and time of year. I often suggest a few minutes before your wedding breakfast, then perhaps another quick wander later if the light is lovely. For winter weddings, we can also make the most of the dark and play around with flash.

What do we actually DO during couple photos?
Honestly, not loads. You don’t need to arrive with a list of poses or any idea what you’re doing. I’ll give you a starting point when you need one and we’ll go from there.

What if it’s raining or really hot?
You don’t need to suffer for your wedding photos. If it’s pouring down, we can grab a brolly, find somewhere sheltered or wait and see if it passes. If it’s roasting, we’ll find some shade and keep things short. You can absolutely embrace whatever the weather is doing if you want to, but there’s no prize for getting soaked or overheating just for a photo.

Can we skip couple photos completely?
Absolutely. They’re your wedding photos. I’d usually encourage you to give me ten minutes if you can, not just for the photos, but because it can be a surprisingly lovely chance to actually see each other in the middle of a very busy day. Having got married myself, I appreciated those few minutes far more than I expected.